Of Pens and Papers

This is my first "Post". And I'm happy and excited that finally I could do what I am dreading to do since I've become a frustrated writer - to write. Sounds cliche but really it matters much to me. This craze started when I learned to write my name at the age of 4. I recall those days wherein I’m writing on everything, from our walls to my sister’s notebooks and even on our neighbor’s fence. Much ado on that, amateur writing was first introduced to me when I was in fifth grade when my teacher thought I have a potential in poetry. Confetti. Modesty aside I am not into writing actually and I was the class declaimer by that time. But it seemed my teacher had different plans and started grooming me to be the next EIC of our student publication. A year later, I failed to qualify as EIC and experienced my first "Post" writing trauma, my first failed expectation. Sob.

Weeks later and still convalescing, I just heard that the school planned to have another publication using the local language (in Filipino). The moment I heard it I thought I should give it a try. But I’m quite skeptical from fear of losing it again. I'm afraid I would totally relinquish the only passion that I have. In the end, I chose to take it anyway. Much to my delight, the panel unanimously selected my entry and alas I was chosen as the new EIC for our new student publication, on its course toward its maiden issue. I suppose that was my first "Post" writing glory. Smiles.

In high school, our school publication was in both English and local language and I found myself in the same dilemma again. What am I going to choose? Will I choose the waters where I already tested the current or the one in which I already tried to steer upon but got drowned with? In the end I chose the latter. And guess what, I passed! Yehey!

By then I was surrounded by people that seemed to have writing talents innate in them. Mine was passion, but theirs were talent. I was inspired by them to strive more and enhance my own skill. With the help of my colleagues and our adviser we trained ourselves to discover maybe not all but significant things about the art. Little by little, I learned to fully love my craft.

Senior year came and I have experienced again both success and disappointment. I felt lucky when I was chosen as EIC for our English publication but was blown out by a series of loss in local and regional writing contests. With that I suddenly doubted my capabilities. Maybe it’s just me who loves writing, but writing doesn’t love me. Cliche again. Maybe it was time to try something else.

High school was about to be over and I have decided already to pursue a career in Engineering. Brows rise. Our publication adviser approached me one day to follow up with our deadline for the last issue. Before we exchanged thank yous and goodbyes for another year of successful publication, I recalled she said one of the things I would never forget in my entire life, "If you wanted to write, go for it. Trust me, you have what it takes." I was like dumbfounded by that time. Do I deserve that? Hello, that was one of the best compliment I’ve had in my entire life! But then, it was too late. Sighs.

I thought I’ve gotten over with writing during my university years, but I was wrong. I was even given a dose of opportunities in both our school paper and yearbook. Though I failed again to enter during my freshmen year I made it a year after. I even held several posts in our university paper and as EIC of our yearbook during our final year. I also tasted my first journalism success when my story won in the national university week held during my fourth year. Not taking up Journalism didn’t hinder me in practicing what I loved most to do. Cheers.

I graduated, got my license and was then working with my first company, a Japanese electronic firm. My pastime includes writing in my journal and making short stories. When I learned that our company had its own newsletter, I didn’t think twice and covered every event in our department. Because of my constant contribution, the staff decided to include me in their team. Efforts paid off.

Now that I have transferred in another company, the thrill of finding my niche again excites me. Though my present company doesn’t have its own newsletter, it on the other hand gave me the freedom and access to the world via the net. And so here I am now making my introductory spiel hoping that in some way I could share my ideas again and write anything that other people could relate upon to, hopefully.

I’ve proven through my journey that if you really wanted something, even if you didn’t speak it out loud, somehow it will lead its way towards you in a different circumstance, medium and time just to remind you that it’s there. When you feel that everything seemed so elusive and unreachable, and even if you turned your back upon it, it will and will always be there to wait until the time you will follow and embrace it once again. It’s true that you would always obtain what you aspire if you have that burning passion in you, if you have that craving and you have the dedication to reach for it. So for now I maybe a frustrated writer but who knows, tomorrow something might change. Today maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but we can never tell of the days to come. Cest la vie!